Tailored Football Fans
Rob Taub
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All of my football buddies were out of town this weekend, and I can’t stand to watch a game alone, so I decided to invite my tailors — Wang, Patel and Rabinowitz — over to watch some NFL action on Sunday. Also present was my niece, Darlene (she/her/they/though/thou/them/thy), who has no job or discernible talents, but is without a doubt the most opinionated person on the planet and a big fan of brisket, which Rabinowitz always brings with him.
Below is an edited transcript of our discussion.
Rabinowitz: This Tim Brando seems like a very nice boy. His father Marlon was so handsome but Tim’s diction is much better. Has anyone noticed that none of these men look like a Viking?
Darlene: Tim is Marlon’s brother not his father, moron.
Patel: No matter what channel we watch, Phil Simms is on every show!
Wang: That was Boomer Esiason on the previous program and the one before that was an old Robert Redford movie.
Darlene: That was Nick Nolte, you stupid idiot. And what’s with these announcers wearing bow ties? That muscle bound guy probably wears velvet slippers and too much cologne. I love him.
Patel: A well-manicured man should be respected and revered.
Wang: I’d rather see no mustache at all than one well-trimmed. Mike Ditka needs a shave. He and Jim Rome look like the old and young Magnum P.I.
Darlene: Facial hair. So seventies. Ugh. By the way, Magnum is now the Police Commissioner.
Rabinowitz: My brother Irving runs a darling little tailor shop in Boston’s Back Bay. He makes custom hoodies for Bill Belichick. Hand stitched with working buttons. He’s even got a special poly-wool blend for harsh weather.
Patel: I’d never make a hoodie — not even for Nick Saban. I don’t care for this Skip Bayless either. He knows less about fashion than he does about football.
Rabinowitz: I made a suit for Michael Strahan. You could stack encyclopedias on that tuchus.
Me: I’m switching to CBS. I like Tony Romo.
Rabinowitz: Tony Rome is Sinatra’s best movie!
Darlene: OMG! Roman is the cute guy on television who’s Frank Sinatra’s illegitimate son with Woody Allen and Mia Farrow! When’s he on?
The Russian Tea Room is serving up a new type of dish…
Located steps from Broadway, the New York institution has been a go-to gathering spot for artists, celebrities, and royalty since its opening nearly 100 years ago and Broadway at The Russian Tea Room is a weekly one-hour AM radio show/streaming/podcast dedicated to productions from Broadway, Carnegie Hall and Lincoln Center and every venue in between.
Host Rob Taub is a devoted advocate of the arts, previous host of radio programs on iHeart Radio as well as a long-time contributor to People Magazine. Rob is also a national spokesperson for Know Diabetes By Heart. Broadway at The Russian Tea Room has created a “safe space” for actors, writers, directors and producers to discuss their achievements, artistic dreams, hysterical off-nights, and continued hopes as they share stories about their careers.
Broadway at The Russian Tea Room is a unique program, with a host who’s been attending a wide range of productions for more than 50 years. We reach a sizable audience across the globe, and we are not here to review or critique, but rather to promote and support the arts.
The program airs Sundays from 5 – 6 pm on 970 AM and is live streamed at www.am970theanswer.com Podcasts can be found here: https://omny.fm/shows/broadway-at-the-russian-tea-room/playlists/podcast
Tune in Sunday at 5pm on 970 AM or livestream here.
Podcasts of past shows!
Rob Taub has enjoyed an eclectic career in film, television, radio and journalism. His work in television has encompassed everything from scripted comedies to producing World Wrestling Entertainment. As a journalist Rob has written more than 200 articles for top tier outlets including People Magazine, Foxnews.com The Cauldron/SI and The Huffington Post. Rob’s distinctive voice can be heard in several of the Coen Brothers most memorable movies including Miller’s Crossing and Barton Fink. Rob has made more than 200 appearances as a political pundit/humorist on Fox News where he shares his unique perspective on the world with viewers. He also plays the role of Russell Carlton on The Onion News Network and is a regular contributor to numerous Sirius XM Radio shows where he offers his opinions on politics, sports and popular culture. Rob hosted Tech Hub, a weekly radio show on WOR-AM and is a frequent speaker/commentator on type 2 diabetes as well as being a spokesperson for Know Diabetes by Heart, a joint venture of the American Heart Association. His new radio program, Broadway at The Russian Tea Room can be heard on AM970 The Answer on Sundays from 5 – 6 pm. Rob serves on the Board of Directors of the Foreign Press Correspondents Association. Rob is a graduate of Ithaca College. Learn more about Rob at www.robtaub.com twitter @robmtaub
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